Bernoulli Helps Explain Things (Motherhood)

Now, although the scientific community may not support me on this one, I've also found additional applications of Bernoulli's Principle that don't have anything to do with objects flying through the air, or fluid flowing through a pipe. I've discovered Bernoulli's well documented relationship between pressure and velocity comes in handy for more domestic issues.

Take for example, the timeless struggle at the dinner table. You've spent and hour or so creating a nutritious, delicious, well-balanced meal for your family. You've dished up a reasonable amount of everything on each plate, enough to cover the basic food groups, but not too much to overwhelm the smallish appetites of the younger ones. (Well, maybe your younger ones have smallish appetites. Truthfully, the two smallest members of our family can outeat most grown men... but I digress). But after all your hard work, and considerately-sized servings, it never fails that one member of the family will take offense to at least one of the lovingly homecooked dishes on his or her plate. (If the disagreeable one happens to be your husband, than that is simply an issue we will have to address on another day... but assuming the one giving you trouble is one of your children, continue on).

Throughout the meal, small amounts of encouragement may be given to this hold-out, in hopes that the progress will pick up a bit and that the meal will be finished. As the other plates on the table start to clear however, a more stern pressure may be applied, and flat out commands like, "Finish your peas!", may start to be issued. Eventually this usually escalates to something of the order of, "Finish your peas, or you can sit there all night for all I care!!" But by the time everyone else has completely finished their meals, even after secondary trips to the bread basket, it becomes clear that progress being made by this particular family member has stalled out completely.

So what would Bernoulli do? (WWBD?) Well, Mr. Bernoulli tells us: as pressure increases, speed decreases. This certainly seems to hold true in child/parent power struggles. The more insistent you are that the peas be eaten, the slower it seems the peas are actually consumed. So, what to do? Release the pressure. That's right, instead of burying the needle of the pressure gauge over in the red, just let up, and let it drop right off the scale. But along with it, also let go of the interaction that has been going on between you and the stubborn little monkey. Because, as most of us moms realize, it's never so much about the peas, as it is about the attention that is being paid to him or her because of the peas.

So it goes something like this: "Okay, you stubborn little monkey, (or you can use the child's actual name if you're from one of those polite families), take your time and finish your peas. But the rest of us have to move on to the next activity of the evening. When you're done with your peas, you can come join us!" And then, walk away.

Admittedly, the success of this approach relies heavily on the attractiveness of this other activity. Just as assumptions are made in the traditional application of Bernoulli's Principle (the flow is steady, the fluid has constant density, there is no friction, blah, blah, blah), assumptions are made here that the after-dinner activity isn't something horrid like a family trip to the doctor to get flu shots. But even if the next activity of the evening is cleaning the garage, it's eventually going to seem much more appealing to be out there with a broom and dustpan and the rest of the family, as opposed to sitting alone at the table with nothing but a handful of peas for company.

With the pressure released, you'll be surprised at how quickly the struggle can evaporate and the speed with which the meal can be finished. But just as Bernoulli alone may not explain how that plane gets in the air, this approach alone may not make every pea disappear... but it will most likely cut the struggle short, and make throwing a fit much less appealing next time.